The Night Before Riskmas

His firm produces millions of toys. He maintains a complex database of personal information on naughty and nice children. His elves work long hours, and he has some of the most famous facial hair in the world.

So how would Santa Claus handle his wide array of risk management challenges? In honor of the season and with apologies to author Clement C. Moore, the elves at Lockton have produced a risk management white paper, titled “The Night Before Riskmas”.

With acknowledgement to Clement Clarke Moore’s poem, “A Visit From St. Nicholas” (1823)

The Night Before Riskmas: A Holiday Risk Management Tale
December 2011

“Twas the night before Riskmas,
and throughout Santa’s shop, not an exposure was covered,
from bottom to top.

Though elves worked hard to make toys with great care,
the risk for injury was still always there.

Santa should have been nestled all snug in his bed,
but visions of big losses danced in his head.

He poured himself four fingers of eggnog as his nightcap,
and hoped he could solve his problems after a quick nap.

As he drifted off into a deep slumber,
the potential for claims multiplied in number.

Santa dreamt of the holiday preparations and his beloved sleigh,
and realized that unless coverage was bound, he would have to pay.

Possible equipment breakdown could result in a clatter;
he would need risk management to help solve the matter.

If the naughty and nice list was erased in a computer crash,
the work his elves had done all year would be gone in a flash.

He dreamt about his eight tiny reindeer that were ready to go,
but he knew they were uninsured motorists—a potentially crushing blow.

Santa remembered tall Sam, an elf who was very bright,
but could not get hired to Santa’s staff, due to his height.

Another catastrophe could be a visit from the Grinch,
who had proven the theft of Christmas could be done in a cinch.

He thought of the stockpile of coal,
as a contaminant would surely take its toll.

Father Christmas without facial hair would be quite weird;
he must go to Lloyd’s for coverage of his beard.

Numerous policies might not cover it all;
he would need an umbrella policy to cushion a fall.

When Santa awoke, he was sitting in his chair,
Only to discover the exposures really were there.

The Yuletide lesson to learn as we draw to a close,
Is that risks—ever present—will leave you exposed.

So Santa gave his risk manager permission to bind,
Leaving him fully covered, with great peace of mind.

Then, as he loudly exclaimed, and breathed a sigh of delight,
“Merry Riskmas to all, and to all a good night.”

Lockton, the world’s largest privately held insurance broker, outlines the key issues facing Santa and his firm, K. Kringle Manufacturing, Inc. See how Lockton would help Santa and his risk management team structure a program to provide more than $1 billion in coverage to his mission critical operations:

Happy Holidays to everyone!

2 comments so far

  1. Don Byrne on

    Great fun Steve. Of course, if he had you as an adviser I think he’d have no worry “flying high” on the 25th.

    Merry Chirstmas – Don Byrne

  2. Michael on

    Very clever! You certainly could do another whole piece using “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”. Or even “I Saw Mommy Suing Santa Claus”. 😉

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